I have not received a response that was satisfactory. I need to speak to a human.
MIKE VASQUEZ
Glowforge doesn’t offer phone support. Your best bet is to send them a direct email at support@glowforge.com, include all of the pertinent details about your problem, and wait for a response.
You should get an automatic reply immediately, and they will generally send a follow up email within 3 days or so, depending on the severity of the problem, and/or when they work out what the next steps that you need to take are.
Or, you can describe the problem you are having here in the hope that fellow customers might be able to get you an answer to your issues sooner. (Sometimes other customers will have seen it before, sometimes there’s nothing we can do from this end and you will still have to wait for official support.)
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Thanks, but I don’t think the OP is looking for our assistance. 
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I’m sure he is. Otherwise he wouldn’t have posted it to us. Just needs to tell us what the problem is so we can help. 
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Nope. Check the other recent posts in Problems and Support.
Oh. Then… weird.
Edit: Oh! Didn’t recognize the name. Now I see.
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I’m very sorry that we haven’t met your needs. We’re constantly working to improve, and I’ll respond to your email in moments.