I hear ya…mine would say plastic plant from Walmart…lol
My mom came to visit…I paid some neighbor kids to clean out my garden…my mom bought two hanging plastic plants cause she knows I suck at growing…even though her whole hand is green, not just her thumb…lol
Although, I bet from time to time your hand would also be green. But from body paint, and not the affinity for growing things 
never give up! never surrender!
seriously though, i can almost guarantee you can find a fun-to-train-in-bonsai plant that will work with your climate and, er, freestyle watering philosophy (i.e., survive the occasional drought :V).
Now I really want to make a bunch of little funny signs that can be staked into planters around campus to make people smile.
Who wouldn’t want to get a “hey, nice butt!” from a friendly-looking shrubbery on the way to class?
Hey, I have one of those experimental dandelion farms! Sweet, didn’t know I was on the cutting edge, though I was just lazy
Straying (as usual) from @karaelena wife’s great project, it would be funny to come up with little sayings to engrave in tiny signs like that to place randomly…
“If you can read this - you may have just stepped in something…”
" The building behind you is filming you…"
" For Sale - 1 square inch"
I love this. Practical need, met with a Glowforge.