Something for all those who receive there glowforge . I am the very model of a modern major-general

Try to incorporate this song into your glowforge projects
I am the very model of a modern Major-General,
I’ve information vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical
From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical;
I’m very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical,
I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical,
About binomial theorem I’m teeming with a lot o’ news,
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.

All:
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotepotenuse.

General:
I’m very good at integral and differential calculus;
I know the scientific names of beings animalculous:
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I am the very model of a modern Major-General.

All:
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
He is the very model of a modern Major-General.

General:
I know our mythic history, King Arthur’s and Sir Caradoc’s;
I answer hard acrostics, I’ve a pretty taste for paradox,
I quote in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus,
In conics I can floor peculiarities parabolous;

I can tell undoubted Raphaels from Gerard Dows and Zoffanies,
I know the croaking chorus from the Frogs of Aristophanes!
Then I can hum a fugue of which I’ve heard the music’s din afore,
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore.

All:
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore.
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore.
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore.

General:
Then I can write a washing bill in Babylonic cuneiform,
And tell you ev’ry detail of Caractacus’s uniform:
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I am the very model of a modern Major-General.

All:
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
He is the very model of a modern Major-General.

General:
In fact, when I know what is meant by “mamelon” and “ravelin”,
When I can tell at sight a Mauser rifle from a javelin,
When such affairs as sorties and surprises I’m more wary at,
And when I know precisely what is meant by “commissariat”,
When I have learnt what progress has been made in modern gunnery,
When I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery–
In short, when I’ve a smattering of elemental strategy,
You’ll say a better Major-General has never sat a gee.

All:
You’ll say a better Major-General has never sat a gee.
You’ll say a better Major-General has never sat a gee.
You’ll say a better Major-General has never sat a gee.

General:
For my military knowledge, though I’m plucky and adventury,
Has only been brought down to the beginning of the century;
But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I am the very model of a modern Major-General.

All:
But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
He is the very model of a modern Major-General.

13 Likes

Why?

6 Likes

Well I like it! Always have liked that song. :wink:

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Like it, but still prefer the Animaniacs version, “I am the very model of a cartoon individual”

6 Likes

There are apparently a couple of different versions of it, including one that runs down the list of elements in the Periodic Table. (That one’s not my favorite though. Too many “niums”.)

That one IS my favorite!

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That would get old fast with the periodic table.

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Why ? Make a periodic table using the glowforge . Be different be original. Make a pirate ship. So in retrospect be a modern major-general or just be a lonely squab with no imagination.

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Make a pirate ship-shaped periodic table with a 'duino-based motion-sensor-activated speaker that plays an audio file of @dan reading Modern Major General if you stand in front of it for more than 5 seconds?

2 Likes

ROFL! It would be fun to design a pirate ship to go with the treasure chest. (Not sure about sticking a periodic table on it…)

I get the idea though…think outside of the box and have fun. :wink:

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I just discovered that The Animaniacs are on, Netflix last week!!

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You could make a gun port for each element on the periodic table.

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That’s a LOT of guns

It would be only 14 more than the HMS Victory.

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Lighter guns/elements at the top, heavier ones at the bottom. I think it was meant to be for the nautically inclined chemist.

Align the elements with the ones that were known at the time of pirate ship you’re modeling - some of the more exotic ones were only found in the past few decades. Blackbeard wouldn’t have cared about the transient ones we’re only seeing in laboratories :slight_smile: