Pick up cat and cradle it gently in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of the cat’s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.
Retrieve cat from bedroom and throw soggy pill away.
Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm while holding rear paws tightly with left hand Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Retrieve spouse from outside.
Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees. Hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold cat’s head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat’s throat vigorously.
Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.
Check label to make sure pill is not harmful to humans. Drink one beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse’s forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
Retrieve cat from neighbor’s shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard and close door on neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot of scotch and drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check record for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
Call fire department to retrieve cat from across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.
Tie the little &#^@'s front legs to rear legs with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table. Find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of steak. Be rough about it. Hold cat’s head vertically and pour two pints of water down throat to wash pill down.
Consume remainder of scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the ER. Sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.
The last dog I had was the same way. Any thing that got tossed into the air in her general direction was to be eaten. Pills were so simple, just toss them her direction and they were gone.
We are having the hardest time giving our cat his arthritis pill! He just won’t swallow it! He keeps the pill in some hidden pouch in his mouth I suppose. Because he spits it out dry and unharmed half the time. He’s better than any movie where the person in the asylum pretends to take their pill. I swear. Yesterday we had to cut a little chunk of fur off of him because there was something stuck to it. Yep… a pill casing. We’ve even watched frickin’ YouTube videos! Nothing works! I tried popping open the capsule and just pouring the powder down his throat. His magic trick was to sneeze out the powder to make this awesome powder cloud in front of himself. When the cloud dissipated, he had vanished! Ta-da!
One evening when I was clean off the dinner room table, I didn’t even think about her just swallowing and I tossed her the bone out of a ham steak. I assumed she would just catch it and chew on it for an hour or two, but no, one gulp and it was gone. By the way, this was really my wife’s dog and she did not see this, but both of the kids did so I had to stop them for laughing or saying anything.
I thought to myself, what a pain, I’m going to have to check all of her piles for the next couple days to make sure this thing passes.
In the middle of the night, I hear the dog starting to heave, so I grab her and put her in the shower, much easier to cleanup than the carpet. To my great delight the bone crashes to the tile floor in the shower. After cleaning up the mess and I go back to bed I apologized to my wife. To which she says “that’s not your fault”, so I had to tell her what really happened.
My kitty has been sick a few times lately, mainly because he hadn’t gotten his thyroid meds correctly. He stoppe eating treats and thus I couldn’t hide them amongst the crumbs. My sister, a nurse and a mother, showed me how to give him meds. Number four is the correct technique. You have to keep his mouth shut long enough for a swallow. he struggles but I’ve been forcing it. He’s coming back around now. Was not eating. I had six different cans of food open at a time and he ignored all of them. Went back to the store and got the beef and liver as the last resort. Success. ate it all in two short sittings. He’s acting almost normal now, although a little subdued. Thought he was going to take the last ride. My vet was so helpful, “we’ll make that passage easy for him and you.” well. Not quite.
There are some things that can help. We use a pill shooter (Kruuse Buster Pet Pill/Tablet Syringe with Soft Tip https://www.amazon.com/dp/B007RQQKWC/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_tai_jlI3ybN4RABYZ) to get the pill on the back of the tongue so they are more likely to swallow it. If it’s a bitter tasting pill we put it in a small gelatin capsule and coat it with olive oil before putting it in the shooter. Seems to help it go down. Next time you are in town we’d be happy to demo it for you on Katie.
I just am not familiar at all with these specialties of cat care. Sadly, I don’t know if he’ll be able to make it till the next visit. He’s got kidney disease now and is showing signs of it. It’s day by day at the moment. He wasn’t eating and then I found another type of food and now he is, but he definitely is slowing down. I’m very sad for him, and for me because he is such a good buddy.
What I’ll have to do is come to St. Louis and get my cat fix at your house when he’s gone.
I had one develop kidney failure a few years ago - kept him going for a year or so with subcutaneous Ringers…first once a day, up to three times daily towards the end. Puree’d his food and squirted it into his mouth three times a day to force him to eat, for months.
Don’t try to keep him alive. Let him go peacefully, and let the vet help, before he starts to suffer too much. (Whatever you do, don’t let the disease take him - he could be in agony for hours if his organs fail. My sister lost one that way, she didn’t have time to treat him.)
We have one cat in similar situation – however, except for the subcutaneous ringers once a week and a specialized food which he just scarfs down, he has been doing well for over two years. We have talked about it, but he seems happy, affectionate, loves to play, and has a good quality of life so we are going to keep things this way for the time being.
We lost the litter mate to our current cat last June. Unfortunately, our current 20 year old cat has gone blind, is moving slowly and losing weight slowly.
