D&D recommendations for a newcomer

A good friend of mine has just retired and is wanting to find a newbie friendly group to learn D&D with. Anyone have a good suggestion? Knowing Deb, she doesn’t want an overly competitive group and just wants a fun and adult female friendly place to learn. (Not insinuating D&D folks aren’t friendly etc., I’m just not sure what the community vibe is. I’ve been pretty surprised about communities before, so just thought I’d mention it.)

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TBF, that really is dependent on said group, with or without females present. Some of the most vile things I’ve ever “seen” take place at a table have come from the females. Other females I’d be cautious of too much swearing in front of.

Sadly I’m not running my group as of now, the aforementioned lady was a military wife(of terrible things but still only second when compared to stories one of the guys has of a female in a different group he played in) and hubby got transferred and also lock down.

Also I never set up digital things so for now am still limited to in person setup.

I need to start up again. I miss it.

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Which is why I said I wasn’t making claims about the D&D community either way. :slight_smile: D&D may be the most welcoming, beautiful community in the world, but I know nothing about it so it might also be dominated by misogynist jerks. Obviously there are good and bad in all communities, I just figured knowing the demographic of my friend may help someone recommend the most appropriate group for her.

And FWIW, the group I was a bit surprised about was 3D printing FB groups. I work in law enforcement and believe me, I would do fine as a sailor and I’m not easily offended. But good gosh, the amount of hateful misogyny in the two 3D groups I belonged to was utterly appalling. And if you dare say anything about it, the attack was on, especially if you were one of the more rare men who spoke up. It was an easy fix for me and I just left the groups, but it was surprising nonetheless.

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Well there are those horror stories but those are also often just very sad individuals who had a bad time of life, but my point was, “fun” and “adult” can have very different definitions. Could be a no holds barred murderhobo style game of kill all the baddies with very brutal descriptions and take all the stuff(great for blowing off life’s stresses) or a chill game of royal court intrigue with seduction and sedition. Competitive, I think is fairly solid in its meaning so no min/max ubermunchkin type groups who keep trying to one up each other.

If I had to guess, I’d say a slower group that focuses a bit more on the role play of heroics than the rolling and with people you’d feel comfortable have a glass or two of wine with?