My very sarcastic sister recently became an EMT, so I needed to give her these. Credit for the jokes goes to the Internet, which also provided a free source image for the EMS logo.
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How about this:
“Hello, I’m your EMT. Thanks to me, your last words weren’t ‘Here, hold my beer.’”
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I like it!
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“Hello, I’m your EMT. You put a what in your what?”
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I’ve said that 
Some people are just amazing!
I had a sheltered life before I joined the ambulance squad. 
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As a former EMT, I highly approve.
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