How to not get help on the forum


There has been a lot written on how to get help but not much on how not to. A few of you have it down and have shown use by example so I thought I’d take what you’ve shown us and reduce it down to some bullet points for those who don’t want to have to dig through a bunch of posts.

  • Ask a question that any number of our advanced users can answer

  • Wait until one or more of our most helpful members answer

  • Now, tell each of those that answer that they are wrong and you only want to hear from :glowforge: staff

  • Note: this works extra well if you can manage to be snarky as you tell the helpful members they are wrong.

If you will simply follow these simple steps you can guarantee you won’t get any help in the future including others that are helpful but not included in your first round.


You’re wrong. I’ll wait to hear something from :glowforge: staff.


ROFL! That’s a hoot! (And fairly accurate too.) :smile:


Yup…works every time! :smirk:


Trust some newbie with an opinion to tell us what we’re doing wrong…

You know what they say about opinions, right, newbie?


I LOVE this! So funny…yet, unfortunately so true. Way to nail it!





Excellent tutorial.

I have definitely backed quietly away from helping people exhibiting this pattern.


Ha! But what is something is that there are some helpful forum members that will ignore all the posturing and privilege and still be helpful. I’d say all in all folks have been pretty patient.


Good and helpful points as always, the number of chances certainly vary significantly but even you have your limits.
I think pretty much all of the top helpers will give someone the benefit of the doubt if there is any ambiguity but there are a few that can run everyone off using the above technique.

Sadly while we can get a laugh out of this, those who could benefit won’t think it is about them. (A long life has taught me that)


Going the opposite direction of what you said I wanted to drop Carly Simon here, then I saw this instead which turns out to be random and, for me, unexpectedly awesome

The Susanna Hoffs version is great too


For sure. I’ve seen some epic and commendable displays of patience from our forum stalwarts.

I get that people are sometimes quite frustrated.


I agree it’s that whole don’t lay your Pearls Before Swine… some of us have a lot more pearls and patients than others.


“I didn’t read your post. So what you’re saying is…”




Having taken a hiatus from posting much helpful stuff and resuming quite recently, I can not help but feel you are referring to me specifically. :rofl::joy::grin::grinning::sweat_smile:


Good thing I’m not like that.



Sadly…why is it up to me to recognize that all of you are wrong? (So much pressure being right all the time!) :sunglasses: