From our local news:
Well that is pretty sad, actually.
Well, my first thought is they probably should cancel the search for Stephu and start looking for a Stephen Rutledge, since that’s a bit more likely to be the name on the box.
1 Like
I dunno…I know a lot of Stephus, don’t you?
1 Like
They posted a photo of the name written on the box, and it does look like “Stephu.” I was thinking maybe it could be “Stephie,” but I couldn’t see “Stephen” in it.
1 Like
Perhaps a dyslexic aikido master, like the Kung Fu “Drunken Master” Style
2 Likes
I work in law enforcement and believe it or not, it’s not super uncommon and I’ve had several “found” cremated remains in my career. (I’ve had enough that I earned the title of “crypt keeper” and wrote the department policy on how to handle them. ) A couple urns had been stolen from homes and obviously dumped when the thief realized what they were. A few had just been left behind as discarded property. (Then there was the time I found a 300 lb marble headstone from the 1800’s sitting on a street corner…)
One urn sticks in my mind becasue had it been intentionally left behind in a vacated rental home along with a lava lamp. Lets just say the homeowner who had called us about it wasn’t a “friend” of law enforcement. I picked up the urn, chatted with the homeowner a bit then started to leave with the remains and told him to just toss the lava lamp. As I reached my car the man came running after me with the lamp outstretched. He told me he hadn’t met a cool officer before so he was giving me the lamp and warned me not to separate it from the urn. He explained that the lava lamp was actually a voodoo spell/ritual that was meant to keep the soul in the urn from escaping. The owner assured me whoever was in the box must have been one evil bastard if someone took such a serious measure to keep him contained and whoever separated the lamp and urn would be on the receiving end of the escaped evil. I ran the name of the deceased and the homeowner was dead-on in his character assessment. I wasn’t taking any chances and taped the urn to the lava lamp until I turned him over (forced the family) to take the remains back. 
5 Likes
Now that’s an interesting story! I’ve never heard of a gris-gris being attached to a lava lamp. 
2 Likes
Wow. I have questions. Like, will any old lava lamp do, or is there some sort of ritual to make it work? Could you use another kind of lamp instead? Does the lamp have to be on, or does it keep working when it’s off?
2 Likes
I’ve never met a Stephu and don’t believe I ever will. I just chose what was the most likely name that starts with Steph and ends with a squiggle. My signature has devolved to one letter and a squiggle, so that you can’t even make out what my name could possibly be from looking at it. I assumed that whoever wrote that name wasn’t really concerned with the legibility of each letter, and possibly let it kind of trail off at the end with an ambiguous squiggle, expecting that anyone who read it would know the person and recognize the name, since an urn would usually not come into the possession of strangers. But maybe it’s Stephie or Stephu. Or maybe they should have a talk with Steve-O of jackass “fame.” It might just be his more formal name, Stepho. I’m sticking with Stephen though, at least until Stephu comes forward to claim the ashes.
2 Likes
I kinda figure Stephu is the ashes. 
I don’t know if they’ll publish a followup story, so we may never know!
I don’t think anyone taped a lava lamp to this urn, so Stephu may just come back to claim those ashes.
2 Likes
In my family once there was a disliked relative. The ashes ended up in a storage unit because no one was willing to deal with them. Might still be there for all I know.
1 Like
Or with my luck they’ll somehow end up in my town and I’ll get the call to pick them up. 
3 Likes
I didn’t want to ask the specifics at the time. 
I do know there was a ritual around the lamp and cremains, but I don’t know if there was just something about that specific lamp or all lava lamps in general. I do know the lamp didn’t have to be on to work, it just couldn’t be separated from the cremains. All I know is I never let the come apart even a tiny bit, especially after I saw what an ass the guy had been. It took me a few hour to track down the family and it was hilarious to see how all the officers in the report room with me slowly migrated to the other side of the room until I found myself pretty much isolated. Of course some tough guy would come in and pick up the lamp only to act all non-nonchalant about setting it back next to the cremains when told about the curse. 
Cops area a very suspicious bunch.
6 Likes
You are just lucky it was not a chunk of Hawaiian Lava. Then you would have to choose which bad Juju you were least worried about, or pack the whole thing up and send it back to Hawaii. Perhaps the proper ritual and the whole thing tossed into KÄ«lauea and be done with it.
4 Likes
I’m pretty sure if you got the remains into active lava that would do it. But if they got blown aloft…
2 Likes
Insulate heavily and put in the path of a new lava flow?
1 Like
This topic was automatically closed 32 days after the last reply. New replies are no longer allowed.