Jules, you sound nothing like a moron. I should know, I work with (almost wrote ‘many’ - trying to be charitable…) several.
My router only uses 2.4 Ghz, so no possibility of being on the wrong frequency.
I did explore Vee’s suggestion of setting up a WiFi hotspot. I have a Verizon MiFi unit with unlimited bandwidth that broadcasts on both 2.4 and 5 GHz. So I did the Teal button stuff to connect my Glowforge to the hotspot successfully.
Nevertheless, I still get the endless “Scanning” message with no activity from the Glowforge. The head is parked in the home position. Nothing is happening.
I very much appreciate your awesomely detailed message on how to troubleshoot this. Sadly, even trying to re-initialize the network configuration (which worked briefly a few days ago) fails to work across two different networks.
I’d really appreciate it if someone from Glowforge Support could step in here to help.