The daily rant: words of encouragement, humor, birthday wishes, etc

humor

#641

Imagining the v1 power supply…


#642

Side note: I really caught hell in the Army for never acquiring a taste for coffee… or beer. :sunglasses:


#643

Right? I was very much the odd man out in cold war Navy drinking coke to stay awake.


#644

Fortunately I am a man… ergo I am expected to be right. (Luckily they are right as well) :sunglasses:

… as to the wonders of the world… there is sadly, only one… I wonder what everything tasted like before there were chickens?.. hmmm


#645

They were Dinosaurs and they probably tasted like chickens.


#646

Chickens are sad dinosaurs, so yeah, probably.


#647

A story. Back in the days when I was fresh out of Highschool, I took a year off to do whatever I wanted. (This ended up turning into a few years, sick family, being able to drive and available to assist them kinda made that necessary.) But I digress, the house was plagued by Jehovah witnesses. I have nothing against religiosity, but after turning them away for several days I was kinda tired of being bothered. And quite frankly tired of the doorbell waking the dogs and them waking my mother, whom I was taking care of. (Cancer aint no fun for no-one.)

It was early spring, still a bit chill and I had managed to fish a test bomb out of my uncle’s marina one day after a big flood in an effort to assist him in the cleanup, and to earn a few extra bucks. Now a test bomb, is literally that, its a concrete and metal thing they drop from planes, that looks exactly like a bomb, I later learned that they put smoke bombs in them to track their decent for training. The mystery of how it ended up at the bottom of the little inlet my uncles marina is located in will never be solved by the likes of me.

So here they come, now we have a decently long driveway. They were bound and determined to get myself to join them since I hadn’t been outright rude to them . I however was getting tired of their visits and decided to enact a plan to end them.

So to set the scene. I had on a ratty pair of whiteish long johns, a lab coat I had aquired for a costume some Halloweens past, one of those fur hats with the ear flaps, and a pair of safety goggles. Oh and some bright yellow dishwashing gloves.

I waited until they had approached about 3/4ths down the driveway towards my house. Yanked open the door, and charged them waving the bomb (keep in mind this thing weighs the better part of 50-60 pounds) whilst yelling, “Its gonna blow!” I threw it, as hard as I could (I might have managed to get it to sail about 10 feet before it plunked quite solidly into the ground. I later earned hell for putting a hole in the lawn, but the cause was just.) and dived to the ground.

After reorienting myself I managed to get a peek of them, pamphlets still fluttering in the air, running back up the driveway as if the devil was out to get them.

We never had a problem after that.


#648

I like your style! :smile::+1:


#649

I have never had patience for prosletutes and have had few at a dead run screaming and pointing and calling them that, so a week later they show up again with a less than year old baby in a stroller to use as a shield so I would hurt the baby before I could get to them.

I told them that it was very nice of them to use the baby as a sacrifice but I had already eaten an hour before. I did not see them again.

The kind of arrogance it takes to go to every household and tell them that all their thinking is wrong and needs to be fixed by these wandering absurdities is quite stunning, and to put up with all such abuse is amazing.


#650

Probably a MK-76 practice bomb. I’m sure hundreds of thousands have been dropped in the Chesapeake bay where I lived. Stuff never stays where you put it.


#651

On today’s lolcats:


#652

Wait until @Jules sees this one. :grin:


#653

Squeeeeeeeee! Just saw it! That little stinker! :smile::hedgehog::hedgehog::hedgehog::hedgehog::squeeee::squeeee::squeeee:


#654

I would so do that if I could find a bag of cereal big enough lol


#655

A wandering hors d’oeuvre holder?


#656

Hedgehog cereal killer…:open_mouth:


#657

Practical applications for 3D printing

Step 1: 3D print a gecko in black PLA.
Step 2: Casually tape it to the wall about waist height
Step 3: Watch your cats go out of their freakin’ minds!


#658


(click twice to display full)



boopkitty


#659

Turning out to be one of those weeks…


#660

Since no one has said this yet so I can just like it:

Happy Birthday @Jules!