This is true stereotyping:
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I know it may be too soon, but I really want December to hurry…
(and the US may be seeing some snow this weekend !!)
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What do you call a deer without eyes? …No eye deer!
What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? …Still no eye deer!
And one more that I can’t post here. Ok, I will at least give you a clue.
Deer with no eyes, no legs, and no ______. Still no ______ eye deer!
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What do you call a fish with no eyes?
fsh
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What do you do with a sick Chemist?
If you can’t Helium…
and you can’t Curium…
you might as well Barium… 
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OK…I’ve put this off long enough…you post the absolute WORST jokes! And by worst, I mean so bad that I love them! My late dad absolutely loved puns and apparently it’s genetic because I do, too. And my best friend (besides my husband) and my son-in-law do, also. And now you…Yay! 
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Chuckle! I’m just amazed at how many @volivaa comes up with! I’m good for a couple at best! 
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A Miami police officer sees a man driving around with a pickup truck full of penguins. He pulls the guy over and says: “You can’t drive around with penguins in this city! Take them to the Miami Zoo immediately.”
The guy says OK, and drives away.
The next day, the officer sees the guy still driving around with the truck full of penguins, and they’re all wearing sun glasses. He pulls the guy over and demands: “I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo yesterday?”
The guy replies: “I did … today I’m taking them to the beach!”
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When Mozart passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Mozart was buried.
Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it. The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music coming from the grave. Frightened, the priest ran and got the town magistrate.
When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment, and said, “Ah, yes, that’s Mozart’s Ninth Symphony, being played backwards.”
He listened a while longer, and said, “There’s the Eighth Symphony, and it’s backwards, too. Most puzzling.”
So the magistrate kept listening; “There’s the Seventh… the Sixth… the Fifth…”
Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate; he stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, “My fellow citizens, there’s nothing to worry about. It’s just Mozart decomposing.”
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I don’t know whether to like that one or just groan with heartfelt abandon. 
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Maybe worms just appreciate Mozart’s body of work.
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Why did the bike fall down?
It was two tired.
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One of my Mom’s best friends had a pretty strong stutter. But he loved to tell jokes.
In almost every case, the joke was so much better because it was insanely corny, absolutely predictible… but you had NO idea what the timing of delivery would be.
That was one of the few jokes my sad memory can still recall that was made miles better by his unique delivery.
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What does one get if you cross an elephant with a rhinoceros? … Hell if I know.
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Actually, I believe that is supposed to be an “Elephino” (says Dave, who did too many years of of Cub Scouts).
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Why did the chicken cross the park?
To get to the other slide.
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Yes, it’s a play on words.
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