Yeah, the rock appeared after the flood of 1986 and has been painted in every conceivable turtle pattern ever since. It’s sort of a local landmark. The wife accepted the baton a few years ago, so I throw on a green base coat and she comes up with a new look every year. There is also a large whale, gator and snail that she painted in the same area. Had a couple beers in me when the picture was taken.
20 Likes
what? nawwwww… couldn’t be true… 
5 Likes
This has been making the rounds for the past few days. 
25 Likes
Thanks. Now I owe my company 3:42. Worth it. I love stories like this!
3 Likes
Confucious say: He who eats crackers in bed, wakes up feeling crumby.
9 Likes
19 Likes
I’m joke deprived folks…post some more funnies! 
26 Likes
Here’s a few more:
I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
How did I escape Iraq? Iran.
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
I’m very good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know why.
I woke up this morning and forgot which side the sun rises from. Then it dawned on me.
Never marry a tennis player. Love means nothing to them.
19 Likes
Perfect! Thanks, I needed that! (Particularly like the calendar one.) 
6 Likes
True story #2: One night my cousin Carolyn tried to talk me into playing video Keno while sitting in a local bar. Tried to explain that lotteries were state sponsored scams and she might as well flush her money. “Besides, I’m the worlds unluckiest gambler.” She just wouldn’t let it go. So, to prove a point I grabbed a Keno card, quickly marked 7 numbers, and told her not a single number would match. One by one every number I chose correctly matched the selections. I had just won $2500.00. The whole bar erupted in applause. Until they realized that I hadn’t actually paid for the Keno card. Nada.
One week later Carolyn won the Maryland state lottery for $2.7 Million
(Hoping luck has nothing to do with getting my Glowforge in a timely fashion.)
30 Likes
Maybe you should ask Carolyn to predict when you will receive your Glowforge. Wow…what a lucky woman. But, then you were, too…but without paying for the privilege. 
5 Likes
My smiley face antennae ball on my car I named “Bob” after Microsoft Bob. I think I still have one of the large Bob cardboardhead/signs from a store display for Microsoft Bob. ( Wasn’t as bad as Tabworks on Compaq)
2 Likes
Happy Humpday everyone !! ½ way through the week !
19 Likes
Your “hand me a beer” joke reminds me of when I was getting my first colonoscopy and heard the doctor say to the nurse, “I said hand me a Bud Light.”
(Hopefully not too off color for this forum!)
8 Likes
Feeling so much better this morning…I’ve got to get a certain amount of laughter in or I just get stale, and I was woefully deficient…
@rpegg - I hope she shared! Chuckle!
@PlGHEADED - the mental on this one slays me!
@Scott.Burns - Snort! Chuckle!
5 Likes
Do you want to hear a joke about nitric oxide?
NO
14 Likes
In my world, not paying for the card is why the numbers would fall like that.
7 Likes
Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?
For Drizzle.
9 Likes
What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy?
I don’t know and I don’t care!
21 Likes